Today was the day of the half marathon that I was going to run with friends here, but instead I’m inside going through a box of tissue and counting down the hours before I can take more Dayquil. Wow, I reminded again of how weak I am. My throat got a little scratchy yesterday afternoon, but I thought some sleep and Vitamin C would take care of that. I went to bed early with my running clothes laid out, my bib number and shoes next to that. Around one o’clock I gave up any attempt to sleep. What was the point? Because at one I realized that the now flaming throat and new symptoms of discomfort were nothing more or less than a cold that would keep me from resting enough to travel 13 miles with my now aching body. I was wide awake mainly because of the sneezing so I dragged my poor little body to the couch to pout.
I really wanted to do this thing, but no matter how much or little I trained and for how long it didn’t matter. All that it took to take me down was a couple of germs maybe picked up on a door knob or greeting a new acquaintance.
That’s when I realized the perfect teacher was taking advantage of a moment that we in the world of education call a “teachable moment.” Yes I laughed when I wrote that last sentence. Anyways…I was reminded again of how strong and mighty my God is, because before I was even born he knew that the race of life I would run would be marked by greater weaknesses than just colds. He knew my sin would cripple me and so he ran the race for me. He didn’t just complete it. He had complete victory. Because of his victory, I have victory too. Thank you, God, for being mighty to save. He freed me to run the greater of these two races with my eyes fixed on him as the author and perfecter of faith. That’s a cool thing to remember. It is good for me to be reminded that the outcome of this life race has not been determined by my own performance, but instead it has been secured by the victory already obtained by my Savior.
That’s the reason I can have joy today and celebrate between the sneezes…
By the way, I am so proud of my friends who did this race today! It is a big accomplishment and I can’t wait to see the pictures! Congrats! You guys are great!
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Staying dry at a local coffee shop...
I couldn't stay in my apartment to study today. The rain makes me completely stir crazy. Don't be to concerned, though, a good cup of tea in this crowded coffee shop has made it easy to get things done. Across the table is my friend Nami who happened to be here when I came. I've enjoyed seeing several friends pass through getting coffee and several others joining a group upstairs to do church. I need to remember to do this more often.
I'm back into a healthy rhythm after midterms. I'm going to start apply to internships the next few weeks and in preparation I've bought a dress to interview in. It is really the first big girl dress I've had. Of course, I've dressed for many weddings and showers at this point, but up to this point I could get away with simple dresses that don't need to much ironing. I feel a little older which amusing me.
Things at the B have been different this semester. Many of the changes have been very good like the emphasis on prayer. Almost every day at the B starts out with prayer at 9:30 followed by countless times over the week where we pray. Some of the freshmen wanted us to start praying before Worldlife and so we are doing that. The prayer team has been encouraging freshman to open up their dorm rooms to pray and so some groups meet there. I love it! I love seeing the Church here become more burdened for prayer.
College towns are so fluid. I consider it a blessing to do life here and be part of this body of Christians. It is neat also as I'm finishing up here to see new faces stepping in and being invested in while also investing in others. After two years of leading groups at Worldlife, it is to cool to be part of mobilizing new freshman to teach and build relationships for the purpose of sharing how good this God is who we serve.
Senioritis is in full swing and the rain has become a familiar friend. All of which makes it hard sometimes to be motivated. I'm praying that I would finish this last year at school strong. If it sounds like I'm leaving tomorrow, don't worry I'm not, but time sure is moving fast.
I'm back into a healthy rhythm after midterms. I'm going to start apply to internships the next few weeks and in preparation I've bought a dress to interview in. It is really the first big girl dress I've had. Of course, I've dressed for many weddings and showers at this point, but up to this point I could get away with simple dresses that don't need to much ironing. I feel a little older which amusing me.
Things at the B have been different this semester. Many of the changes have been very good like the emphasis on prayer. Almost every day at the B starts out with prayer at 9:30 followed by countless times over the week where we pray. Some of the freshmen wanted us to start praying before Worldlife and so we are doing that. The prayer team has been encouraging freshman to open up their dorm rooms to pray and so some groups meet there. I love it! I love seeing the Church here become more burdened for prayer.
College towns are so fluid. I consider it a blessing to do life here and be part of this body of Christians. It is neat also as I'm finishing up here to see new faces stepping in and being invested in while also investing in others. After two years of leading groups at Worldlife, it is to cool to be part of mobilizing new freshman to teach and build relationships for the purpose of sharing how good this God is who we serve.
Senioritis is in full swing and the rain has become a familiar friend. All of which makes it hard sometimes to be motivated. I'm praying that I would finish this last year at school strong. If it sounds like I'm leaving tomorrow, don't worry I'm not, but time sure is moving fast.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Voice
So why such a long break between posts? Have I already become bored with blogging? Is this yet another goodbye after a fling with a creative medium? Actually, I haven’t written in a while, because I’ve just confused myself about what to share. Rewinding to my first post I said I wanted to write to stay connected to people and also to get myself writing in the first place. The problem with that is it very vague. Bopping around from place to place, I’d like a way to share like the update letters I got to send back to the home state when I was in Mexico and Thailand. Where as right now there is not an incredible need for me to have a way update, I need to get in the habit. So here is me refocusing, and trying to fight the urge to simply blog all the feelings and fluff that bores even me when I reread it a month down the road. Of course I like to read other blogs with feelings and fluff. I just tend not to be as poetic as I could be. I’m sure if this was an assignment turned into a writing class my teacher would simplify all of this by saying I’m trying to find my “voice.”
Friday, September 4, 2009
Peace
I write this sitting on the couch with peace that saturates and seems to almost press in on me. Today hasn’t been extraordinary. I could even find things to complain about like the cloudy sky or my contacts that don’t seem to want to stay in today. I still physical hurt from the aerobics class and my heart has been broken again today by another family member who has decided they don’t want to be part of my life. Still nothing can separate me from the love of Jesus, and so circumstances is not fuels this peace.
Everybody is back in town from the summer, and we have been able to welcome and make friends with so many new people. I am so encouraged by the renewed passion for prayer and also seeing so many guys leading and stepping out. God has been just pouring out his spirit on this place and so I am one of the many who is waiting in expectation to see the hand of my God work. I like following this God who goodness is constant and who is always at work even when I don’t see it.
It’s been said before and I’ll take the liberty to say it again. Following this God who is constantly good and who is always at work does not equal an easy life. This past two weeks has been hard in some ways. Following Jesus, like a lot of you guys know, means not yielding to your own desires but instead yielding to the desires of God. Something that I’m learning is that me letting God’s desires shape my life does not just affect me. Also, it does not just affect others in ways that are always warm and fuzzy. Like yes it’s cool when following Christ means I get walk into class and tell someone that there is this God who loves them. It’s not warm and fuzzy, though, when family decides you following Christ means you’re not respecting their desires for your life. Their response is not always pretty. I know it’s because they love me so much and they have values that they view as good and right. It’s scary for them for me not to pursue what is in their mind good things. So I’m in this hard place again and I know that this story has played out in tons of Christians’ life. So again I sit here with this overwhelming since of peace. My God is always good and he is always working to complete what he started. Love you guys!
Everybody is back in town from the summer, and we have been able to welcome and make friends with so many new people. I am so encouraged by the renewed passion for prayer and also seeing so many guys leading and stepping out. God has been just pouring out his spirit on this place and so I am one of the many who is waiting in expectation to see the hand of my God work. I like following this God who goodness is constant and who is always at work even when I don’t see it.
It’s been said before and I’ll take the liberty to say it again. Following this God who is constantly good and who is always at work does not equal an easy life. This past two weeks has been hard in some ways. Following Jesus, like a lot of you guys know, means not yielding to your own desires but instead yielding to the desires of God. Something that I’m learning is that me letting God’s desires shape my life does not just affect me. Also, it does not just affect others in ways that are always warm and fuzzy. Like yes it’s cool when following Christ means I get walk into class and tell someone that there is this God who loves them. It’s not warm and fuzzy, though, when family decides you following Christ means you’re not respecting their desires for your life. Their response is not always pretty. I know it’s because they love me so much and they have values that they view as good and right. It’s scary for them for me not to pursue what is in their mind good things. So I’m in this hard place again and I know that this story has played out in tons of Christians’ life. So again I sit here with this overwhelming since of peace. My God is always good and he is always working to complete what he started. Love you guys!
Monday, August 24, 2009
A Rough Sketch of Things
(Written earlier today)
Classes start on Thursday so this week is of course filled to the brim with wonderful things, but this morning I got to wake up in Houston. Today is my sister’s birthday, and while she is at school and the rest of the family at work I’ve got to run around and get some things done. I wanted to pause, though, and share with you guys some of what I shared with my dad last night about what this year might look like for me.
The story is still the same for after graduation as it is today. I will go wherever God wants me for however long God wants me there. I will do whatever he tells me to do in whatever place he puts me in. What does that actually look like in my life? The past couple of years that has looked like going to school with summers overseas sandwiched in between. Now that graduation is getting closer I’m continuing to look into a lot of things. I think there will be times like in Paul’s life where I will have a source of income from working, but there will also be times when God uses others to meet my needs financially. There will probably be some time overseas and some in the states. This year I’m preparing my heart and my life in a practical way to go wherever and do whatever God leads.
Sounds almost adventurous and it would be very easy to romanticize that idea and I have at times. Really though it is hard now that things are coming together and my faith is being challenged. Like last night, my dad looked at my car to figure out why the air conditioner has been making a weird noise and he think my air conditioner may not have many months left. So what do I do? Do I look into buying a used car? If God has me here for awhile than I need a car. If God doesn’t have me here much longer than is my car going to make it? God can make my car last. If he wants me to get another car, that would make money tight, but I also have to trust his timing and his provision. I’m seeking God’s wisdom out on this one right now.
All this is of course is just a rough sketch of things. Like those still life pieces I used to have to draw, it is going to take time to really look at the thing before me to be able to understand and capture it in full color and texture. I can't just glance and be able to render the object in full detail. I could never really get the hang of enjoying drawing, but this is different. I really am excited about starting this fall and seeing what God is up to in my life and the lives around me.
Classes start on Thursday so this week is of course filled to the brim with wonderful things, but this morning I got to wake up in Houston. Today is my sister’s birthday, and while she is at school and the rest of the family at work I’ve got to run around and get some things done. I wanted to pause, though, and share with you guys some of what I shared with my dad last night about what this year might look like for me.
The story is still the same for after graduation as it is today. I will go wherever God wants me for however long God wants me there. I will do whatever he tells me to do in whatever place he puts me in. What does that actually look like in my life? The past couple of years that has looked like going to school with summers overseas sandwiched in between. Now that graduation is getting closer I’m continuing to look into a lot of things. I think there will be times like in Paul’s life where I will have a source of income from working, but there will also be times when God uses others to meet my needs financially. There will probably be some time overseas and some in the states. This year I’m preparing my heart and my life in a practical way to go wherever and do whatever God leads.
Sounds almost adventurous and it would be very easy to romanticize that idea and I have at times. Really though it is hard now that things are coming together and my faith is being challenged. Like last night, my dad looked at my car to figure out why the air conditioner has been making a weird noise and he think my air conditioner may not have many months left. So what do I do? Do I look into buying a used car? If God has me here for awhile than I need a car. If God doesn’t have me here much longer than is my car going to make it? God can make my car last. If he wants me to get another car, that would make money tight, but I also have to trust his timing and his provision. I’m seeking God’s wisdom out on this one right now.
All this is of course is just a rough sketch of things. Like those still life pieces I used to have to draw, it is going to take time to really look at the thing before me to be able to understand and capture it in full color and texture. I can't just glance and be able to render the object in full detail. I could never really get the hang of enjoying drawing, but this is different. I really am excited about starting this fall and seeing what God is up to in my life and the lives around me.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Starting the Dialogue
I would like to join the many who have confessed an addiction to reading blogs. I love the raw stories that need no publisher to back them or a formal newsletter to feature them. I love that they are free and easy to find. I love that blogs are open for anyone to read or write. They are so accessible and so real. So here is mine to add to the mix. I warn you guys up front that there will be many grammar and spelling mistakes. Knowing me, there will be some excessively long stories and there might be some large gaps between posts. Really I start to blog for two reasons. The first being that in college I’ve got to make some great friends that spread out all over the place and I know that there will be more made throughout life that reside in even further corners of the world. This is one of those attempts to stay connected. The second reason is I don’t write unless I’m writing to someone. So if I want to look back and see the faithfulness of God in my life I need to also share it with others in a written form. So there you go. This part of the story begins with a week before my last year at the university and hopeful it will not end 6 months later when the idea of a blog is not as fresh.
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