I feel like transitions can be a little strange. They can be tiring or confusing or just different. They can be sad, but also exciting. I feel like I’ve learned a lot from times of transition. God usually uses transitions to teach me about trusting him.
This time from Clarkston back to Texas is no different. I was lying in bed the other night not able to sleep. I was trying to escape all the thoughts that were nagging at me. I talked through some things with God, but I was still lying there feeling restless and little frustrated and lonely. My whole body was tired and my spirit ached. I felt confused too.
That’s when God brought this story to my mind that I had been memorizing. Now I’ve heard this story my whole life. I’ve always thought it was a pretty cool story, but it had never pierced my heart like it did that night. I sat up strait in my bed and started telling this story to myself-the story of how God created the world. It starts out “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. And God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light.”
My whole self was filled with awe. I had only memorized up to day three where God created land and plants, but I had to keep going. So I started reading and memorizing day four where God created the sun and the moon and the stars. My soul was just gushing over the beauty of God so I had to keep going! So I went on to day five where God creates the creatures that live in the sea and birds! I think I was getting pretty excited at this point. My sister knocked on my door to ask who I was talking to so I told her the story.
After all of that it was time to rest in the peace that only comes from knowing the creator of the world. I still couldn’t sleep. I had too much to praise God for. Instead of all those other not so great feelings, I was thankful. I looked at my phone and realized it 5:30. I tried to sleep again, but I gave up when sun light started filling my room.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Saturday, October 2, 2010
I don't know
2 months down… time as always is moving fast! Things here are going great! I’m being ruined a little more every day which is awesome!
One of the videos in class we watched this week talked about the bigness of God. It was another wave of deep awe that washed over me.
Let’s see. I’ve been in school for the past 17 years of my life and still have a hard time remembering how to spell words like vegetables or February. How long have I been speaking English? How long have I been writing English? How long have I been listening to English? Isn’t that a humbling thing to think about? How much do I really know?
It seems like I’ve been trying to get God. I want to get him because I want to be obedient. I want to get him because I want to see him produce fruit in my life. I want to get him because some of you guys ask me questions and I want to answer with answers. God is so big, though! Why don’t I answer more questions with “I don’t know?”
I think it is part of our culture here in America and many other places, that we don’t value that answer. We look down on it. I have not been able to master my first language which I have spent the extent of my life surrounded by. How can I begin to understand the creator of all languages and more than that the creator of all beings? Even more than that, how can I understand the one who has spread out the vast universe or knows how many grains of sand line the beaches of Galveston.
Proverbs says that the fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge. So I want to come and know the LORD more with reverence and awe. Consider with me our great inadequacy to understand the complexity of the creator all things.
One of the videos in class we watched this week talked about the bigness of God. It was another wave of deep awe that washed over me.
Let’s see. I’ve been in school for the past 17 years of my life and still have a hard time remembering how to spell words like vegetables or February. How long have I been speaking English? How long have I been writing English? How long have I been listening to English? Isn’t that a humbling thing to think about? How much do I really know?
It seems like I’ve been trying to get God. I want to get him because I want to be obedient. I want to get him because I want to see him produce fruit in my life. I want to get him because some of you guys ask me questions and I want to answer with answers. God is so big, though! Why don’t I answer more questions with “I don’t know?”
I think it is part of our culture here in America and many other places, that we don’t value that answer. We look down on it. I have not been able to master my first language which I have spent the extent of my life surrounded by. How can I begin to understand the creator of all languages and more than that the creator of all beings? Even more than that, how can I understand the one who has spread out the vast universe or knows how many grains of sand line the beaches of Galveston.
Proverbs says that the fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge. So I want to come and know the LORD more with reverence and awe. Consider with me our great inadequacy to understand the complexity of the creator all things.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Clarkston
A lot of you guys have been asking me questions about what this school looks like. I’m at a school with Global Frontier Missions called a missionary training school. In the mornings we have class and the afternoons are filled with studying and hanging out with the people of Clarkston. Our hope is that while we are training we will also be reaching out and sharing who God is and how much he loves the people here.
This past week was a little bit different, because instead of classes and outreach we got away and prayed and fasted for four days. This was a time to exam our hearts and let God convict us in areas where we have wronged him. It was also a time to seek direction for our time in Clarkston and after.
Is this a strange concept to you? Fasting and confessing sin? They are not disciplines I considered growing up when I desired to have greater intimacy with God. Let me tell you guys, though, this past week was amazing! I got some good direction in areas I have been praying about for a long time, and I definitely needed to be freed from some things I’ve let slip into my life.
I thought about blogging why fasting and confessing sin is biblical for the follower of Jesus and pulling out some scripture that God has been showing me. Talking to you guys, though, a lot of you were already sold on the value of both, but were really hesitant to consider practicing either. I just want to encourage you guys with what I have to be constantly relearning. We got to check ourselves. If you are a follower of Jesus, the Spirit is going to want to do big things in your life. Let’s remember when we read our Bible and the Spirit is getting at our heart to not say “That’s great, but I don’t feel called to do that.” It’s not faith when we act out on what we think we can do. Let’s not limit our big God. Let’s be the branch that is completely surrendered and dependent on the vine and see fruit in our lives (John 15).
This is going to be an awesome week coming up! Look forwards to some great stories of what God is up to here in Clarkston.
One last thing, I want to give a shout out to you guys back home. I’ve felt so loved by all of your texts, messages, and calls. Thank you for reaching out to me and checking up on me. I love you guys!
Is this a strange concept to you? Fasting and confessing sin? They are not disciplines I considered growing up when I desired to have greater intimacy with God. Let me tell you guys, though, this past week was amazing! I got some good direction in areas I have been praying about for a long time, and I definitely needed to be freed from some things I’ve let slip into my life.
I thought about blogging why fasting and confessing sin is biblical for the follower of Jesus and pulling out some scripture that God has been showing me. Talking to you guys, though, a lot of you were already sold on the value of both, but were really hesitant to consider practicing either. I just want to encourage you guys with what I have to be constantly relearning. We got to check ourselves. If you are a follower of Jesus, the Spirit is going to want to do big things in your life. Let’s remember when we read our Bible and the Spirit is getting at our heart to not say “That’s great, but I don’t feel called to do that.” It’s not faith when we act out on what we think we can do. Let’s not limit our big God. Let’s be the branch that is completely surrendered and dependent on the vine and see fruit in our lives (John 15).
This is going to be an awesome week coming up! Look forwards to some great stories of what God is up to here in Clarkston.
One last thing, I want to give a shout out to you guys back home. I’ve felt so loved by all of your texts, messages, and calls. Thank you for reaching out to me and checking up on me. I love you guys!
Sunday, August 1, 2010
5 states, 32 license plates
I made it to Atlanta yesterday. I drove through 5 states a saw license plates from 32 different states. Here is a taste of the very long road trip to get here! Thanks every one who blessed me with friendship, food, and lodging along the way!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
At the Beach
This weekend I got to stay at my aunt’s place in Galveston with my sister, aunt, and gramie. It was a great chance to spend time with family before I head out to Atlanta this week. I’ve been excited but also a little nervous about the fall. Walking along the empty beach in the evenings, God relaxed me. The moon was almost full and was the only light on our beach. The black water met the black sky and the waves and light conversation were the only noise. I loved it! Here are some pictures from the weekend.
If given a choice, I would choice the almost green waters of Galveston over the more sought after blue waters of Florida or Mexico. I love this side of the gulf. I grew up here.
Hurricane Ike hit Galveston almost two years ago. It was only a category two storm, but the amount and force at which the water hit the coast caused a lot of damage. When I was in Galveston last I could see how far the water came in the island by the line where the healthy tress met the dead trees. When you drove around you could see big orange Xs to mark the trees to be cut down. It was depressing. The island is starting to bounce back. Many businesses are back and there are new houses. Artists have come in and carved pieces out of the stumps of some of the dead trees. I think there are about 50 around the island. These two above were my favorite. Aren't they cool?
If given a choice, I would choice the almost green waters of Galveston over the more sought after blue waters of Florida or Mexico. I love this side of the gulf. I grew up here.
Hurricane Ike hit Galveston almost two years ago. It was only a category two storm, but the amount and force at which the water hit the coast caused a lot of damage. When I was in Galveston last I could see how far the water came in the island by the line where the healthy tress met the dead trees. When you drove around you could see big orange Xs to mark the trees to be cut down. It was depressing. The island is starting to bounce back. Many businesses are back and there are new houses. Artists have come in and carved pieces out of the stumps of some of the dead trees. I think there are about 50 around the island. These two above were my favorite. Aren't they cool?
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Sweek on the Sweek
I’ve been going through a lot of old stuff this summer trying to get rid of as much as possible. I want to get it down to where I only have 5 or 6 boxes at my parents' place so I will be ready to go back overseas within this next year. This past week I ran across a diary I kept in second grade. My horrible spelling makes it read like a book in another language, but I decoded two of my favorite entries for guys. If you have had to edit any of my recent papers, you know my spelling is still not great but thankfully it has improved a lot!
I wrote: to day I witi to daycare and sweek on The sweek and seed socse form The Sada a Mosice and Woch Nech Trees!
Translation: Today I went to daycare and swung on the swings and sang songs from the sound of music and watched (I don’t know what to make of “Nech”) trees!
I wrote: to day I went on a trip to San Antonio and Vist wite pepol That I never mit and spin a nite at The hotetile and went on a boate
Translation: Today I went on a trip to San Antonio and visited with people that I never met and spent a night at the hotel and went on a boat. (I think my mom helped me with some of the bigger words)
I wrote: to day I witi to daycare and sweek on The sweek and seed socse form The Sada a Mosice and Woch Nech Trees!
Translation: Today I went to daycare and swung on the swings and sang songs from the sound of music and watched (I don’t know what to make of “Nech”) trees!
I wrote: to day I went on a trip to San Antonio and Vist wite pepol That I never mit and spin a nite at The hotetile and went on a boate
Translation: Today I went on a trip to San Antonio and visited with people that I never met and spent a night at the hotel and went on a boat. (I think my mom helped me with some of the bigger words)
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Keeping an Eye on the Coast
There is still some love for creativity that was not yanked out after a cruel year of being an art student. That part has made me uncomfortable every time I’ve sat down to post something. I feel freedom to post again now that I have recreated this page and it looks so much more like me. Yay!
I’m enjoying the luxuries of being in my hometown this summer with my family. In addition to being able to hang out with my family, there is a newspaper on the table every morning and doing my laundry doesn’t require quarters. I don’t have to plan every meal and I can watch a movie on a screen bigger than my computer. I think I’m becoming spoiled… Hopefully not because in a month I’m moving out again to go to a school in Atlanta. More about that later…
I promise I’m going to start posting again! Plus I’m saving up to replace my camera that I've managed to break so maybe I’ll start posting pictures too! Well maybe… One step at a time.
I’m enjoying the luxuries of being in my hometown this summer with my family. In addition to being able to hang out with my family, there is a newspaper on the table every morning and doing my laundry doesn’t require quarters. I don’t have to plan every meal and I can watch a movie on a screen bigger than my computer. I think I’m becoming spoiled… Hopefully not because in a month I’m moving out again to go to a school in Atlanta. More about that later…
I promise I’m going to start posting again! Plus I’m saving up to replace my camera that I've managed to break so maybe I’ll start posting pictures too! Well maybe… One step at a time.
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