I don't know

2 months down… time as always is moving fast! Things here are going great! I’m being ruined a little more every day which is awesome!

One of the videos in class we watched this week talked about the bigness of God. It was another wave of deep awe that washed over me.

Let’s see. I’ve been in school for the past 17 years of my life and still have a hard time remembering how to spell words like vegetables or February. How long have I been speaking English? How long have I been writing English? How long have I been listening to English? Isn’t that a humbling thing to think about? How much do I really know?

It seems like I’ve been trying to get God. I want to get him because I want to be obedient. I want to get him because I want to see him produce fruit in my life. I want to get him because some of you guys ask me questions and I want to answer with answers. God is so big, though! Why don’t I answer more questions with “I don’t know?”

I think it is part of our culture here in America and many other places, that we don’t value that answer. We look down on it. I have not been able to master my first language which I have spent the extent of my life surrounded by. How can I begin to understand the creator of all languages and more than that the creator of all beings? Even more than that, how can I understand the one who has spread out the vast universe or knows how many grains of sand line the beaches of Galveston.

Proverbs says that the fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge. So I want to come and know the LORD more with reverence and awe. Consider with me our great inadequacy to understand the complexity of the creator all things.